Dispatches from Atlanta August 16, 2014

It’s 7:52pm here. But 4:52pm in Portland. And when I get to Braaasssssilllll, it will be 6am Sunday morning. I feel vair confuse.

I better sleep. No Nerve Pills – I need some Knock Out Pills. I think those are the official pharmacy names, y’all.

Viagra = Boner Pills
Prosilec = Piggie Pills
Valium = Mama’s Little Helper Pills

Downtown Atlanta?

The dirt really is red here. Just like we’ve read about in the slave books.

There they are!

Within arms reach. Natch.

I’m not afraid to fly, but the whole airport fandango is stressful. Check in, security, etc. I get uptight.

Today my hair triggered the X-ray for explosives. What? I got some split ends, but GET SERIOUS!!

BM

Bloody Mary! And dude was heavy on the Worcestershire. Yum!

Now where are my Nerve Pills?

See you in Atlanta, dummies.

Waited too long to head to gate

Boarding with the unwashed masses. HEY! I’m kidding!

Make Up Review

I got this new eyeliner. It’s awesome.

It’s Loreal and comes with a brush.

Infallible lacquer liner.

Goes on easy, high pigment.

Step one

Pedi/Mani for my trip.

Step two: smudge three nails by the time I make it to the car. CURSES!!!

Packing

Oh? I leave today? And I can’t be in denial anymore? I guess I’ll start packing.

Stay tuned for an exciting travel journal. Wherein I probably bitch about the heat and humidity for seven days. Oy. I’ll try not to be a total Debbie Downer.