Frog and Toad Together Blog

Napping, Knitting, Buying Kids Clothes and Walkin' Dogs…for the people

Warning: Detailed Account of Frog’s Dream May 19, 2011

In lieu of xanax and other nerve-calming drugs, I have taken to setting my ipod to my “sleep” playlist and listening to the likes of “Zen” and other random cd’s you can find at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Plus, the stress I anticipated yesterday surrounding a meeting was greatly alleviated when the moody case manager decided to not tear into me, my staff or client’s guardian.  And by moody, I mean full-blown personality disorder.  If I didn’t like her so much I would really resent the daily eggshell walk.  But, just when I feel some relief with a work situation, I have this bizarro dream that I was working where Toad works and I was nothing short of “special needs” for lack of a better phrase.  It was time for some big time meeting and we all had to go into this special room which was locked.  Each employee going to the meeting had a badge- honeywell style and had to punch in a code.  I had been told the code but could not remember it for the life of me.  Then,  I went to follow Toad into the room, hoping she could hold the door for me.  But no!  Maybe we shouldn’t go to the Hall of Fame!  I was left walking around the uninvited employees asking for the code.  Lo! and behold! My aunt, the one in the throes of dementia tried to tell me several times, but I still couldn’t get it.  It kept changing every time it was told to me.  Well, eventually I got in and then the freak show started.  The first room was like a spa, where everyone had to take off their shoes, bathe their feet, walk in salt and then put their salty feet in some spa slippers for the meeting.  Then in the next room- boardroom style, the “executives” came in one at a time and sat at one end, with their backs to the table.  This is where that stupid show The Voice comes in.  The execs would dramatically turn around one at a time, introducing themselves.  Of course I had the misfortune of sitting in the middle of the execs, but facing the table.  It occurred to me in my dream how stupid it all was and I couldn’t stop laughing.  But, I felt bad for Toad who I think I embarrassed badly.  Sorry about that Toad.  But next time you should hold the door for your special needs friend.

You know what makes it all better?

This little Nannerpuss.  It is a …  wait for it… Mini Boden dress with Hanna ribbed capris, just in time for a sunny spring day like today!  Shoes pictured are Lelli Kelly’s and though they are bejewelled, Hattie considers them to be inferior to her now-to-small light up shoes.  She refers to these as “broken” since the over the top psychadelic sequins don’t requrire a power source.

Yesterday I reassembled her crib and removed all 1,000 of the Elmo stickers from the wood.  I put a nice masculine green sheet on it and rounded up all her semi-boyish blankets and plush toys.  We are set.  She would like to know where the baby is now.  We have talked to her about it several times.  The crib is a good conversation starter.  But, I imagine she thinks of this phantom baby as something that will only be around from time to time.  How could she ever conceptualize the reality?  This will all be interesting.

In dog news, Paco is sick.  He spent a day and a half throwing up and not eating.  We took him to the vet yesterday.  $242 later, we still don’t know what’s wrong, but they did give him some fluids and some meds to make him less nauseous.  This morning he ate a little of the food they sent home for him.  Now I must wait to capture the elusive stool sample.  They sent a dixie cup home for this.  A dixie cup!  Do they want me to return it in that?  Anyway, I know you must be worried.  Here he is, looking pitiful:

It could just be a case of missing his BFF Bailey.

Today I have no meeting and the sun is out.  It’s a good day.

 

Monkey Biznss November 12, 2010

Filed under: alleged "dogs",Toad Blather — frogandtoadtogether @ 8:32 am

I got a text message from Emily yesterday with this picture. She said she thought I might enjoy it.

Um, she’s right I enjoy this picture. Look closely readers, it’s monkeys! And punkins! At her work! I’ve mentioned before, Emily works with The Science. These are their lab monkeys, having a bit of fun before their next electro-shock experiment. OH I’M JOKING PEOPLE. Quit being so sensitive!

But really, monkeys at your job? I picked the wrong career! I work with spreadsheets and computairs all the live long day. And Emily gets monkeys and punkins? Not fair, readers! What is that you say? You have to be science-brained to get that kind of job? And go to eleventy-hundred years of college to get the phD? PhD? My liver couldn’t take that much kollege! And if you can’t capitalize PHD correctly, you probably shouldn’t have one, amiright? But rilly, i did enjoy that picture and the idear of watching monkeys horse around with pumpkins. At work.

Don’t bother getting all PETA on me up in the comments, yo. If I had my way, they’d do all the heinous testing on pit bulls. But I think there’s something about monkeys having similar USDA or BDSM, oh I remember, it’s DNA, and that’s why they have to use the monkeys. Or something like that. Whatever! Science!

I can think of four-to-six readers I piss off with the pit bull jokes. And two whom I prolly make laugh. Sorry. You know who you are, in each camp. I just have a low tolerance for “pets” who eat a toddler’s face off. Oh I AM JOKING. I know that pet monkey’s can rip faces off too. Remember that gal in the news whose friend’s pet monkey ripped her face off? TURRIBLE! No joking matter! But that is why monkeys are not for pets! They are for testing my eyeliner and hair-dye-safety on!

Ok, I can already feel the comments blowing up with the hate mail. And people deleting my 12/8 reservation at their restaurants. I will stop now. I’m just playing around, folks! Cmon!

 

Srsly? October 17, 2010

Filed under: alleged "dogs",Toad Blather — frogandtoadtogether @ 3:27 pm

 

IMG00021-20101009-1003 October 9, 2010

Filed under: Alicia Blather,alleged "dogs",Food/Recipes — frogandtoadtogether @ 10:05 am

Round two, I’m documenting this so that you don’t think I’m trying to pass off tainted crackballs as untainted.

 

Update on Crackballs October 8, 2010

Filed under: Alicia Blather,alleged "dogs" — frogandtoadtogether @ 7:25 pm

I have some very bad news for the craftapalooza goers. No, this is not a cover-up. It seems that Tito ate 1/2 of the plate while we were at the Playground Gym with Hattie. Angela, the cleaning lady of power caught him, front paws on the counter, balls a flyin’. There is still quite a few left, but I cannot guarantee that they will be Tito-spit-free. I will check the Cornflake supply to see if I can make more. And BM, you are right, these are WONDERFULLY WONDERFUL. However, they are very heavy on the peanut butter, which I know is not your fave.

You see the pictures of the Playground Gym, right? We 3 went and had a grand time. It’s on the corner of Grand and Lloyd. It’s rather small- a large open space with lots of mats and fun stuff to climb and play on. There was only a few other kids. We stayed for 2 hours. Hattie loved it. It will be great for those rainy days when the 900 can’t meet her gross motor needs. They also have classes, where “coaches” semi-structure stations of fun. Gina had a coupon for $50 worth of play time for $25. Bonus.

So now I’m off to search the internets for some suitable graphics for tomorrows date. Later, crackheads.

 

Dog Lovers, git off me

Filed under: alleged "dogs",Toad Blather — frogandtoadtogether @ 1:14 pm

Greetings Earthlings.

It is Friday. My favorite day. And today is even better, because it’s DATE NIGHT. The boys are staying the night with aunt/uncle/cousins and we’re going out for Hawaiian food and a movie. Yay! So I have a little solo time between quittin time at the gulag and when date night starts. The downside is: I have to go to Costco. The upside is: solo time, did I mention?

Today is a no-school day so the CotC went to their old day care place, that they’ve been moaning about missing since June. They tried a new day care place this summer and while J and I were digging it with two shovels, the CotC did not love it. They always talked about how GREAT their old place was. So fine – they got to go today. Now maybe they’ll shuttie uppie for awhile. They’re going for all the in-service/teacher work days in Oct and Nov., of which there are several.

It’s a lovely Fall day here in P-town. Oh how I love Fall. I am in a little bit of Fall denial though…I’m wearing cropped jeans to work today. With a black cardigan. Oh wells. Love me, love my fashion. I am wearing a stenciled shirt and I got a rave review from my old boss. She coooon believe I made it. It is pretty fab if I do say so myself.

In my shoulder still hurts news, my shoulder still hurts. J bought me some Icy Hot last night and that felt pretty good on it. Except now, I can still smell it – I think it must have gotten on my bra. It reminds me of that old elementary school joke about “ben-gay? Not lately!” Duurrrrrr. You know what’s funny – the same jokes are still going around. The kids have said things to me like rhymes, jokes, etc and they are ones I remember from my youth so many moons ago. They lay one on me and I say, “1977 called, they want their jokes back!” Just kidding, I would never say that to the CotC! I am a good mom and I fake laugh uproariously. Except in today’s PC world, we’ll have to have a talk if they bust out the BenGayNotLately joke.

UGH – is everyone keeping up on the whole gay bullying situation in the news? ACK!! I like the whole “It Gets Better” campaign. I think Dan Savage started it. I love me some Dan Savage. He’s smart, funny, articulate and not afraid to tell it like it is. I haven’t checked out any of the YouTube vids that people have submitted but one knit blogger I read did a whole post for it and talked about the bullying he was on the receiving end of in two years of private high school. He later tried suicide. He put in some of the stuff his biology teacher used to say in class, and people, I can’t imagine. I think he’s around my age…and I just can’t imagine hearing that in high school. I would think it would have been a little more ‘together’ in the mid-80s?? I hate to think what would happen if one of my kids was bullied. Let’s just say I’d probably end up in jail, legless, after having jammed my foot/leg up someone’s ass. Then the other foot/leg for good measure. (Hmmm, maybe I *will* get a pit bull. Then I could sic it on any punks who pick on my kids. Because that is what they’re for – child eating. Food for thought, food for thought!)

Of course it all depends on your kids sharing it with you, ya know? B. and I had a conversation recently – he asked “what’s a counselor?” Or maybe he asked what a “shrink” is. I can’t remember how it came up, but I did my normal fumbling around (I’m not a quick thinker on my feet) and said something along the lines of someone you talk to if you have problems and need help. He said, “Why can’t you just talk to your parents??” Let’s hope he keeps thinking that way – at least until he wants to bitch about his horrible childhood, then I’ll turn him over to the profesh. Ha!

I that is all for now readers and pit lovers.

 

…And Another Thing… September 25, 2010

Filed under: Alicia Blather,alleged "dogs",tv — frogandtoadtogether @ 11:35 pm
  • I know that you would never believe that I, Frog, would be the one to say this, but it has to be said that True Religion Brand Jeans and the other sh*t they sell is the most overpriced bullsh*t I have ever seen in my life.  Yes, this is me, the one who spends hundreds at a time on my little girl’s wardrobe when it needs NO augmenting.  But something about TRBJ has me jumbled.  I looked at a pair of jeans there- $319 !!!  What in the foxtrots is going on?  It’s some kind of kommie khinspiracy.  The stuff they sell there looks like everything else, but with oversized horseshoes on the pockets and a pricetag like a car payment.  I asked if all of their stuff was made in the US, trying to make some sense of the prices.  No, not in the US.  Crap, Lucky Brand at least has all their stuff made in the US.  It was just last year that the $100 jeans at Lucky were a pricey and rare treat for a teenager.  Someone just got a wild hair and decided to put absolutely outrageous prices on average clothing.  But, I guess they do have the righteous Buddha with the guitar as their logo.  No, the irony of this rant is not lost on me…:
  • Everywhere, PROSTITUTES!  Saturday night Gina and I were leaving the movies in downtown and we passed what I was sure was a young, well-groomed prostitue.  Then we passed another and another.  They were everywhere.  It was a downtown Sat. night uniform.  It took a long time for me to realize that THIS IS HOW THE YOUNGSTERS DRESS THESE DAYS!!!  Lord have mercy, when did this start?  When did the strapless skin tight mini dress with jesus stillettoes become ok outside of Halloween?  This makes me vair vair anxious about Hattie’s teenage years.  What will it be then?  Probably full-on Capitol City attire, dyed green skin, flourescent hair and no clothes.  Shoot me now.
  • I have October 13th on my calendar.  I will be there.  This should allow me enough time to finish 🙂
  • They came out to “fix” the pavers yesterday.  Can’t see the concrete as much, I guess they put some under the outer stones.  It’s hard to tell because it’s still drying.  I’ll let you know.

A random picture of Leonard is better than no picture at all, right?

  • Ok, so I’m the biggest sap ever.  I almost cried during last week’s Mad Men.  Is Burt Cooper not the best character?  Well, he’s much more about the poignant one liners, I guess.  I loved the scene where he was all bound up over writing the obit for the just-passed elderly secretary and when Joan suggested something nice and average, he came back with “She was born in a barn and she died in a skyscraper.  She’s an astronaut.”  I still tear up when I think of this line.  I’m not even PMS!  Am I crazy?
  • The Big C: MEEHHHHHhhh.  You know what ruins this show?  The neighbor.  Horrible acting that Laura Linney can’t compensate for.  I like the brother, though.  Best line: “Jesus is your brother?