I’m almost done with the Tina Fey book. She’s so funny. I enjoyed the behind-the-scenes stuff at SNL a lot. Remember this funny skit?
But by far the funniest chapter with the most Lolz has been her chapter on nursing. Here are some funny bits. Warning, language!!
“invented in the mid-1800s as a last ditch option for orphans and underweight babies, packaged infant formula has since been perfected to be a complete and reliable source of stress and shame for mothers.”
“as a member of generation x I was more informed, more empowered, and I knew that when it came to breastfeeding I had an obligation to my baby to pretend to try.”
“we tried the football hold, the cross cradle hold and the one I like to call the Bret michaels, where you kind of lie over the baby and stick your breast in its mouth to wake it up.”
Her baby was a tiny baby and her OB suggested that perhaps she hadn’t rested enough during the pregnancy. Tina writes “‘what a c*nt,’ I thought to myself in what was either a flash of postpartum hormones or an accurate assessment of my doctor’s personality.”
“if you’ve never opened a can of infant formula mix you know it smells like someone soaked old vitamins in a bucket of wet leaves then dried them in a hot car.”
Oh Tina. She perfectly captured the pressure to nurse and the overwhelming attitudes of what she calls Teat Nazis.
I look back now and don’t think I could do it again. It was not easy. And those f’ing lactation specialists were USELESS CULT-ZOMBIES.
It’s really a testament to my stubbornness that I hung on as long as I did. Me, admitting stubbornness!