Can you get approved for a hysterectomy if you moved to a new house and have septic vs sewer and can’t flush tampons anymore? How does one deal with tampons in a GARBAGE CAN, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY??!! Asking for a friend.
And don’t tell me, er, her to use some reusable hippy Diva Cup or some bullshit like that. No one needs a container of uterine lining to deal with. JAYSUS! I was at the Walgreens looking at cheapie lippy the other day and some woman yelled from another aisle, “You guys don’t carry Diva Cups??” No, you Krispy F*cker. This is Walgreens at Murray-Scholls, not your mama’s 1978 Alfalfa Sprout Co-op and Yoga Studio. They got no Nancy’s Honey Yogurt and no Diva Cups.
(Hey, if you use a Diva Cup: cool. No judgement! Just don’t ever shake my hand again or ask if you can have some of my popcorn, kthxbai.)
(I should add _____ F*cker to the dictionary, for reals.)
(First you’ve got your Stony F*cker, which means: a person who is a marijuana “enthusiast.”)
(Then there’s your Krispy F*cker, which means: a hippy or a scumbag. It’s vague. Use context clues, dummies.)
(Then there’s your Dry F*cker, which is someone who is just a real bastard.)
I think those are all the ______ F*ckers in our vocab. And do not judge the language. We started this bznss in 1981. Although the inclusion of the F word started much much later. Like maybe yesterday.
And yes, there ARE limits to what I’ll share. For example, there are things NOT in the dictionary because they’re just a bridge too far. Or they’re things only I say that I’m too embarrassed-ashamed to tell Frog. Or things I inherited from J, like a dowry if you will.