Sooooo…you know the jokes about Hawaiian time, etc, right? Laid back culture, loosey goosey on time stuff, like meeting times etc?
Well some folks joked about Brazilian Time, and us erring by not building BT into our agenda. AND IT’S NO JOKE.
We were to meet in the hotel lobby at 7:30 this morning…at 7:40 the Brazilian strolls in. We were to start our meeting at 9:30 this morning…only us U.S folks were there. I asked everyone to be back from lunch at 1pm and at 1:05 two Brazilians walk in and I thought “FINALLY” but they grabbed something and walked back out. LEFT AGAIN!
So, the restaurant service is on BT as well. No rush for anything. And by “no rush” I mean SERVICE AS SLOW AS SHIT. I had the capieroeska (sp?) as recommended by reader Char. It’s the same drink I had last night but with vodka instead of their horrific cachaça (sp?) and man ALIVE, that sucker was DELISH! I had a stressful day and I could have thrown back two more easily. OK, THREE, LEZBE HONEST!! But the service was so bad they never came and offered me another. That’s many reals ($$) they lost out on. But it all ended up okay because ain’t nobody need no four cocktails on a Monday night! I’ve for important sessions to sit and wait for people to join tomorrow. I can’t be sittin and waitin with a hangover!! I need to be on my A Game for all that waiting and waiting!
At least our drivers are on time. They got the easiest driving gig ever. We are a mellow bunch who doesn’t want to go anywhere. They’re available 24 hrs for us and I just say “TAKE US TO THE HOTEL STAT AND COME BACK TOMORROW MORNING AT 7:30.” Socializing after work? No thanks.
Tomorrow is an enforced dinner out. Crikey.
How many of you extroverts think I’m a social weirdo? Be honest. I think I have an internal meter running with a Daily Word Limit. If I reach it (by talking a lot), then I’m done for the day. If I reach it by someone else talking too much, ALSO DONE.
The language thing is difficult too. I’ve only been places where English is easily understood (Singapore, Holland and Mexico). I couldn’t order coffee today at Starbucks. I wanted an iced latte. It took about three hours (horas) to order. I thought POINTING TO THE PLASTIC CUP VS THE PAPER ONE WOULD HELP. By the time it was over, my kids had graduated from high school and I was a grandma. Oh, I exaggerate!! But really, by the time it was over, when she asked me my name to write on the cup, I said “Mary” because I could not deal with having to spell out my non-Brazilian name (nome). Then when she was yelling “MARY” to give me my frio (cold) latte I ignored her for about another three hours. Oh, the web of lies I spun today.
I am trying to learn though. I texted “Obrigato” (thank you) to our driver and he reminded me it’s “Obrigado.” He texted: GATO IS CAT.
Oh for fucks sake!! It’s getting harder and harder to be a dumb ‘Murican. Expecially with the world travelin’. I may just have to buckle down and actually TRY HARDER to be a good international visitor. We’ll see. Right now I’m only focused on remembering to get a picture of the sign I saw today for a store called “Farto.” My dudes would like that.
I learned that the ã in a word makes it nasal….sounds like Sauls saying MawMaw (what she calls her grandma). It should be spelled MãwMãw. If you want to try to say it, pretend you’re deaf. How would you say it? That’s what it sounds like. ANYWAYS….important lesson:
Pão = bread but Pau = penis. So if you don’t nasal the shit out of that A, you sound like you want penis with your meal. So don’t go to the bakery and saw you want a HUUUUGE Pau. Don’t make the shape of a baguette and ask for Pau.
Maybe I should write a travel blog??! Building bridges, one country at a time.