Tonight I had some good tv time and caught up on my Billy on the Street episodes. I had three. Three Billy’s is a lot. Billy is best taken one ep at a time.
While watching BotS, I saw several commercials for some show called “Big Freedia.” Who is this Big Freedia and what in the ever lovin’ hell is that show about? It looks so weird I almost thought it was a FlowBee moment, if you know what I mean. Which you don’t. Well, Frog does. But most of you don’t. But if you want to know, text me and I’ll tell you. If you have my cell #, you are close enough to the inner sanctum and I can tell you.
ANYWAYS! Back to Big Freedia. What the hell? After Billy, my first order of business was to put that on LE DVR, ASAP. Then I hit the google dot com and found out that Big Freedia is a music artist and interior decorator. He’s done decor work for the Nagin administration, wasn’t he the mayor of NO during Katrina?? Anyways! The music Freedia does is “bounce.” What in the ever lovin’ hell is bounce music? I’ve never heard the term!
Well, the good news is it looks like there’s a Big Freedia marathon Saturday and something like seven episodes are taping. I will keep you informed.
The bad news is that I’m old and moldy and don’t know pop culture folks anymore! I don’t know about a whole genre of music! There are sub-genres to “bounce” too. Sissy bounce is homo bounce. Big Freedia doesn’t believe in labels on bounce, FYI. I will find out exactly what Big Freedia stands for and I will update you. That is my promise to you.
What else? My sciatic nerve is paining me RUL BAD lately. Being locked in a conf room for a week in Europe in a stupid bad chair really effed my shit up.
Sauls, I looked into our VRC and they’re two for one right now, thru May 31st! Only $9k for a cruise! But they don’t do any England cruising! They have a Holland/Belgium one, but gurrrrrrl if you want to do that just come to Amsterdam with me and and we’ll take a train to Belgium. I’m RUL GOOD on the train.
What else? We watched some Louis CK tonight too. He is a comedy genius. I love Louis CK. I also love Patton Oswold. And Jim Gaffigan. I love a good comedian. PO and JG are good on the Twitter dot com, by the way.
JG was going to be in Amsterdam soon after I was there. He asked on Twitter what to eat there. Um, news flash, Dutch food is not good. At the breakfast buffet at the hotel, there was sliced fish of some sort.
Honestly, people. Have you ever heard of something so WRONG?? The Dutch do a good job on the dairy products though. They have about 47 kinds of yogurt, including one called quark.
Oh! When I was there, one of my coworkers (an English fella) made us a cup of classic English tea. He brought in some special tea from “home” and some special milk and brewed up a cup. The Dutch call it Baby Tea, because that’s how they serve it to their babies. Black tea. With caffeine! To their Littles! When they grow up, the take out the milk and sugar and give them straight tea. I don’t love a black tea, truth be told. But that English tea, sweet and milky? OMG SO GOOD. I’m going to bring him some Smith Tea to try when I go next month. And force him to make me Baby Tea every day. I think the secret is the milk. He used goats milk, but a very mild one “that doesn’t taste of goat” according to him. News flash, I could totally taste the goat, but it was good. I’d hate to have the one that “tastes of goat!”
I think they do fattier milk over there. I had cereal at the breakfast buffet, LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING, and I chose the one labeled “skimmed milk.” It was delicious and it sure as shit wasn’t skim milk. They tricked me with the “skimmed.” As in, they skimmed one drop of fat off it and served it up. It was goooooooood.
But black tea? For babies? No wonder there are so many tall Dutch people. They’ve been juicing them up since birth. My American coworker was aghast at the black tea for babies…while sucking down a full-on Coke. She also wouldn’t drink the tea because it has goats milk in it. Me, being soooo Internationalé, I drank it graciously. Then proceeded to rail against their lack of ice water and their 3 oz. cups. And rant about the train system. And ask them why they just can’t do dates like we do with mm/dd/yy. SO WHAT if everyone else in the world does it dd/mm/yy?? I argued it with that charming waiter in Amsterdam. He told me I needed to get with the program. I told him he needed to get with Fahrenheit because NOBODY GOT TIME FOR CONVERTING CELSIUS! Then when I was trying to figure out what size steak to order and he was showing me how big 150 grams was, and how big 200 grams was I said: CAN YOU JUST TELL ME IN OUNCES???? He walked away from me. In disgust. And he could, because there’s no tipping in Holland, which guess what: I CAN TOTALLY GET ON BOARD WITH THAT. (I totally ordered the 150 gram steak. Ordering a big steak is Not Feminine.). (Oh calm, down Feminazis. I am JOKING.)
ANYWAYS! What else? Has anyone seen that memory foam pillow at the Costcos? It has some cooling gel bullshit top that is suppzd to keep your head cool? I bought one. AND I LOVE IT! And it’s totally cooling!
This is a long post. Let’s wrap up:
Big Freedia – I’m on it
Dates – I need to start using dd/mm/yy. It’s time to face the music. Baby Tea – yum.
Fish for breakfast – soooooo queer.
Celsius – sorry, no. Can’t do it.
Amsterdam waiters – fun and funny. And no tipping!
Cooling memory foam pillow: totes worth it.