–it’s 8:44am on Friday and I’m laying my carcass in bed just thinkin and relaxin. That’s right, I took the day off. Top Business Women need a day to just unplug, can I get a m.f. WITNESS??!
–I’m going to write a book, like that gal who wrote Lean In. I’ll call it something like “Secrets of a Top Business Woman.” Step one: take a day off. Step two: lay your carcass in bed. Step three: blather online. Step four: sit back and watch the accolades/money/self-satisfaction roll in.
–My boy did not get a hot towel shave last night. He got a hot towel. Calm down.
–My boy also goofed around online at school yesterday and we got an email today from his teacher at 6:45 in the a.m. vis a vis his online shenanigans and asking us to talk to him. The teacher included pictures of the “offense” and it included a comment that Z would start speaking “Philepeano” if the other kid didn’t watch out. I emailed the teacher back immediately and said how horrified I was…that my kid misspelled Filipino. J claims that perhaps my approach DIDN’T HELP THE SITUATION. I say: spelling is important. And I also say: humor is how we deal.
Turns out Z went to the bathroom and his friend got on Z’s iPad and wrote the Philepeano comment using Z’s account. I got right back to the teacher and told him that Dillweed actually wrote the Philepeano comment and that my kid knows how to spell THE NAME OF HIS PEOPLE, FFS.
The teacher emailed back thanking me and told me to let Z know what was coming Dillweed’s way and it was “more than a spelling lesson.” I emailed back and said “Yeah! Please tell ol’ Dillhole that the language is TAGALOG and the people and culture are FILIPINO…DUH!!!!!!”
Again, calm down. I also said “We get it. iPads are tools for education and we don’t horse around on them at school. Message delivered to Z.” Come on people – give me some credit for being at least 1% mature parent. 99% idiot-asshole, but 1% having my shit together.
(But really? If you give fourth grade boys iPads and instant messaging capabilities, you’re going to run into the online horsing around and one boy calling another boy “tanga” online. Tanga=idiot. I looked it up.)
(Imagine the hijinx Frog and Toad would have gotten into with that technology! One time in 8th grade science we were using “computers” and learning how to do basic programming (DOS?) and what did we do? How did we maximize the learning opportunity? We wrote a message that said “PAUL LOVES MAISIE” and had it repeat/scroll endlessly on the screen. Then we called our science teacher over to look at it – and he just happened to be Paul. And who was Maisie? She was his girlfriend/lover who was also the mother of one of our classmates. So yeah. Let’s talk about online horsing around. I’m ALL EARS.)
(I have no idea where Z gets it.)
Lerd! It’s tiring being such a good mama. Goodbye.