Good news: it’s cold here.
Bad news: soda machine with no ice? What gives?
Good news: I took a poop. It’s worth celebrating.
Bad news: heated toilet seats. Wtf? Is that what a hot flash is like? I thought I was afire! Or afaaaarrrr, as I’d really say. Good news: I watched a good movie on de plane – “Enough Said.” I loved it.
Bad news: I got a torture session, I mean, chair massage, on my way out of Singapore and I’m soooooooo sore now. The guy was brutal. I had to say “STOP!!!” at one point. He wasn’t reacting to my cues of “ow!” Or “too hard!” Or “softer!!” I didn’t tip him, I was so mad. I even took three ibuprofen on de plane and I’m still LES MIZ. Dick! He musta done some weird shit because I broke out in a head to toe sweat AND was completely nauseous at one point.
Good news: only one twelve hour flight between me and home. And they got some BANGIN rice cracker fandango in the Delta Sky Club. Perfect with my soda no ice.
Honestly. The first thing I’m doing at home is making a huge glass of ice water. Then I’m going to grab a blanket and lay on the couch and watch some TV, y’all. I haven’t turned on a TV in ten days, for reals. I’ve watched movies on de planes but no TV in my hotels. Imma watch Downton and Sherlock and then go sit on the porch and wait for my boys to git off the school bus and I’m going to eat them up.