It’s 10:15 pm Monday night. I have to be in the lobby to head home at 4am Tuesday morning. I fly six hours to Tokyo then layover for two (?) hours. Then fly 12 hours from Tokyo to Portland. And I get home at 7:30 TUESDAY MORNING. Vair trippy.
It’s a good thing I’m going home. I’m down to my last pair of grunderwears.
I can’t do bullets on my phone. You’ll have to live with paragraphs.
All I brought for work here is heels. We took a group photo after dinner and I was THE TALLEST PERSON, male or female. WTF?
Dutchies are into the three air kisses. Singaporeans are into hugs. They are also one foot tall and weigh three pounds, so I nearly broke my back having to hug everyone when I left dinner. BTW, we were outside where it was 120 degrees and 4000% humidity. Good times.
I saw a bus the other night covered with ads for some miracle cure called Axe Brand Medicated Oil or some such. It’s suppzd to be a headache miracle cure. And topical! You may or may not know I get frequent headaches, so I’m always looking for a miracle cure. And also: I like the packaging.
At lunch today (my employee B took me out for a traditional Singaporean meal called “beef noodle.” She told me next time we’ll have to try the other traditional meal called “chicken rice.” I said “You people are RUL good at naming your food.”) (I didn’t really say that. I picked up the check and said “I can’t wait to come back and get my Big Ern on and eat Chicken Rice!”) (I didn’t really say that either. I did pick up the check and say “yay, chicken rice! What’s in that MYSTERY DISH?”) (ok, not really. I was gracious.). MY GOD, anyways!! At lunch I went to a pharmacy and got mahself some Axe Oil for my headaches. I splurged and got the large bottle becuz I have a LOT of headaches. And I expected it to be one million doll hairs because things are sooooooooooo expensive here. And it was $2. And that’s in their doll hairs, so it was really like $1.50 in real US doll hairs. RUL CHEAP. I will keep you posted on the efficacy of this miracle cure!
Oh! I wanted to comment on how safe it feels here. RUL SAFE. I was out alone all day Saturday on a hop on/hop off bus tour gig all over the city (it was great!) and I felt as safe as if I were in Tigard. I felt so safe I was comfortable sitting in the park trying to decipher this huge tourist map. I was holding it up and turning it round and round trying to get my bearings, and I had nary a worry. You know why? Cuz they keep their shit TIGHT in Singapore. You can’t do jack shit without getting in trouble. The cab driver last night was telling us about his video camera on his car, to record everything. I asked why (because of course I quiz the driver) and he said in case people run off without paying. He said they’ll eventually get caught and I asked what the punishment was. It’s a fine. And jail time. And pay the cabbie. And GET CANED. Six lashes. He said someone told him the first lash is on the butt (except he said IN the butt) and it feels like heat. Then the second one is also “in the butt” and feels like your skin is bursting. Then the third one is also “in the butt” and you “feel it in your heart.” I didn’t hear about lashes 4-6, because I would have barfed. But anyways, that shit must work because nobody hassles you about nothing here. Not even the vendors trying to sell you crap. They don’t even approach you. It’s great. And no tipping? Love that! Of course the service is SHIT, but you can’t have everything. But, sad trombone…there’s the heat to deal with, and the high prices, and who has time for frizzy hair??? I’m glad to be going back to Oregon. So so so so glad. JY texted me this picture of Z sleeping in my spot while I’m gone and it made me sooooooo homesick:
Lookit that preshie little boy! I want to eat his cheekies!
I better pack now, eh?