Frog and Toad Together Blog

Napping, Knitting, Buying Kids Clothes and Walkin' Dogs…for the people

Pink December 26, 2013

Filed under: Alicia Blather,Uncategorized — frogandtoadtogether @ 2:38 pm

I enjoyed the look at Christmas future, Toad.  Thanks for the lolz.  I hope that my kids will save each one and insist on those and only those on their future trees.  If not, I will use them until I die, then will write into my will that they are placed in my urn.  It seems that you top yourself every year in the cute dept.  Just when you think it can’t get any cuter, it does.  The bears look like a snow globe.  Is that intentional?  Soooooooo cute.

Our Christmas was fine.  I am recovering from the flu.  This is one that is going to take all my energy for a while.  The house is a mess and I have no will to clean up.  Its a bad deal since Gina has the kids today.

I just had a heated back and forth text with Diego’s birth mom about his love of girly stuff and my allowance around it.  Draining.  This is the first time we have butted heads on anything around raising him, and it’s brutal.  Part of the territory, but brutal.  We worked through it, though.  There are many people around me who would like me to start saying “no” to the girly stuff.  Not going to happen.  Oh! the challenges of parenting!  And what an extra dimension an open adoption provides- especially when you never had any intention of doing ANYTHING just because that’s how everyone else does it.  Fun fun.  This little guy will see to it that I’m on the defensive for the rest of my life.  It is funny, however, that everyone’s concern is other kids and “how they can be so cruel”, yet he is not more comfortable anywhere than at school in a skirt.  He (I) only gets the judgment out of that arena- by those who say that his schoolmates will hurt him because of it.  So strange.  I don’t subscribe to the “Let’s run in fear of what others say will happen if” theory.  I am adamant about “being the change that I want to see in the world.”  Fear cripples and I refuse to instill that in a two and a half year old boy who has the potential to change the world for the better some day.  Ok?

With that said, I would like to reiterate a widely held belief that I have rejected all my years… until now.  Girls are harder to raise than boys.  What I see with such clarity for Diego is like looking through vaseline for Hattie.  Why???  I don’t know exactly.  I feel like I am able to parent him effectively- and her?  I’m in constant reaction mode- second guessing mode and anxiety mode.  I swore that everyone that claimed that girls were harder were letting conventional thought talk for them.  Or they just approached it with too much fear and made it harder.  And that once that ball got rolling, then it was hard to stop and then you have a willful teenage girl who is a menace on your hands.  I am not saying that the problem is not with me- it likely is.  But what to do about it??!?  I make decisions around Diego with ease and confidence.  With Hattie?  No!  It’s painfully unclear what direction to go with her.  Of course there are many things that magnify this- namely their age difference.  But I can say that regardless- the parenting experience is so different between the two.  Can I have some parents weigh in on this?  What about non-parents?  An unadulterated view would be super helpful as well.




One Response to “Pink”

  1. Hattie and Diego's Favorite Aunt Says:

    Seriously!? She is up in arms about pink? Does she know that she was giving her child to a same sex couple? IT’S A COLOR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I sure hope he continues tib love his PINK PRINCESS TEDDY BEAR BACKPACK he got from his cousin this year!!

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