Frog and Toad Together Blog

Napping, Knitting, Buying Kids Clothes and Walkin' Dogs…for the people

Monkey Biznss November 12, 2010

Filed under: alleged "dogs",Toad Blather — frogandtoadtogether @ 8:32 am

I got a text message from Emily yesterday with this picture. She said she thought I might enjoy it.

Um, she’s right I enjoy this picture. Look closely readers, it’s monkeys! And punkins! At her work! I’ve mentioned before, Emily works with The Science. These are their lab monkeys, having a bit of fun before their next electro-shock experiment. OH I’M JOKING PEOPLE. Quit being so sensitive!

But really, monkeys at your job? I picked the wrong career! I work with spreadsheets and computairs all the live long day. And Emily gets monkeys and punkins? Not fair, readers! What is that you say? You have to be science-brained to get that kind of job? And go to eleventy-hundred years of college to get the phD? PhD? My liver couldn’t take that much kollege! And if you can’t capitalize PHD correctly, you probably shouldn’t have one, amiright? But rilly, i did enjoy that picture and the idear of watching monkeys horse around with pumpkins. At work.

Don’t bother getting all PETA on me up in the comments, yo. If I had my way, they’d do all the heinous testing on pit bulls. But I think there’s something about monkeys having similar USDA or BDSM, oh I remember, it’s DNA, and that’s why they have to use the monkeys. Or something like that. Whatever! Science!

I can think of four-to-six readers I piss off with the pit bull jokes. And two whom I prolly make laugh. Sorry. You know who you are, in each camp. I just have a low tolerance for “pets” who eat a toddler’s face off. Oh I AM JOKING. I know that pet monkey’s can rip faces off too. Remember that gal in the news whose friend’s pet monkey ripped her face off? TURRIBLE! No joking matter! But that is why monkeys are not for pets! They are for testing my eyeliner and hair-dye-safety on!

Ok, I can already feel the comments blowing up with the hate mail. And people deleting my 12/8 reservation at their restaurants. I will stop now. I’m just playing around, folks! Cmon!


4 Responses to “Monkey Biznss”

  1. I love seeing monkeys eat pumpkins. What’s better than that? Electroshock never hurt anyone. And don’t be putting me in the camp that feels bad for the pitbulls vis-a-vis face eating! Put me in the “They must have done something to deserve it” camp.

  2. But, I do think that those monkeys should have little coats on.

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